I can't seem to get the Christina Agulara song Fighter out of my head. It's my theme to myself. I find so much strength thinking about how alcoholism has made me a stronger person. I could/do hate the disease, but at the same time I would like to thank it because it's going to:
"makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder
makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a FIGHTER
made me learn a little bit faster
makes my skin a little bit thicker
makes me that much smarter
so thanks for making me a FIGHTER"
I'm going to keep taking inspiration from that because really, I have had to grow up, learn and become a stronger more confident version of myself in order to survive this turmoil. I'm also so thankful because it has helped restore my relationship with God who I have always believed in, but haven't had a daily dialogue with in such a long time. I've needed Him and have found Him again and take comfort in the fact that He was always here, it was me who left for awhile.
Dear God, please let me go out into my day today and be an example of your love. Please guide me to make healthy decisions. Please give me kindness, compassion and patience with Jim. Watch over Grandpa and welcome him to your house when you decide it's his time. Please give comfort and peace to my family and take away their troubles. Watch over my children and help me be the best Mom I can. Amen.
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